Human Relationships

Funeral planning encompasses many things, from body disposal to caskets, to types of services offered to flowers and music. Here we’ll talk about planning some of the basics for the funeral service itself. The funeral expenses, a funeral march as well as scriptural readings must all be taken into consideration.

The first step of funeral planning is deciding upon burial or cremation. In the past, there were certain stigmas regarding cremation within the religious community, but so long as a service is performed, it is now viewed as perfectly acceptable. Most churches prefer that the body remain present at the funeral mass, prior to cremation, since the body is “the temple of the Holy Spirit.” Worst case scenario, the cremated remains can be present at the mass, or a memorial mass may be performed instead.

During mass, the priest will say the Opening Prayer, just like any normal mass. Afterwards, the Scriptural Readings will begin. The church can point you to several options that are meaningful and appropriate, while the priest chooses a powerful Gospel. Your first reading will be from the Hebrew Scriptures, or Old Testament. Next there will be a Responsorial Psalm (a popular one being “The Lord is my Shepherd”). The second reading is from one of the New Testament letters. Finally, the Gospel comes from Matthew, Mark, Luke or John. To personalize the mass, friends or family members are often called upon to do the first and second readings. Make sure everyone is well-rehearsed to hold their composure for the duration of the reading. Next, the Father will give a homily about life, death, life after death and the deceased. Sometimes a best friend, spouse or family member gives a personal reflection after the Gospel, ideally something light, memorial and heart-felt. Be sure to bring your tissues! Following the homily, the Prayers of the Faithful are said for the family members and friends. These can be written by family and friends, said by family and friends, or said by parish members.

The gifts of bread and wine are brought forward by two or more family members. This is the part of ceremony that usually involves children in the family. You may also choose a song (something soothing like “Ave Maria”). The ancient Eucharistic prayer is said, the Greeting of Peace is given and the ministers distribute Communion like a normal mass. Even guests who have not received the sacrament can approach the Father, with their arms crossed over their hearts, to receive a blessing instead. The mass then ends with incensing of the body and closing prayers, before the casket is led out of the church.

As a funeral planning checklist, remember that you decide the following: Choose six pallbearers from the family or friends. Two to four of these people should be expected to place the pall on the casket. Choose guests to do: the first reading, second reading, Prayers of the Faithful and the personalized family or friend-written memorial reflection. Note if there are particular first and second readings or special intentions you prefer. Select two people to bring up the gifts. If you have Eucharistic ministers in the family, they may perform this function, otherwise the church will supply this service. Are there special songs you wish to suggest? Remember, there is an entrance song, preparation of gifts song, communion song (or two) and a closing song.

By Relationships Editor

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